


Love, Laughter, and Bad One-Liners

by Dat_Patriot



Category: Naruto
Genre: Bad Jokes, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, One Liners, One Shot, cheesy as hell okay whatever man, disgusting fluff, dorks being dorks, kakairu - Freeform, modern!verse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-20
Updated: 2014-03-20
Packaged: 2018-01-16 09:02:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1340716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dat_Patriot/pseuds/Dat_Patriot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Iruka has a weakness for one-liners... or maybe it's just Kakashi</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love, Laughter, and Bad One-Liners

Iruka adjusted his tie jerkily, the ends flipping up and threatening to hit him in the face with each motion. He stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, squinting at his high-bound hair, thin scar, and the soft, dark circles under his eyes.

 

With a wordless noise of frustration, Iruka yanked the tie off, flinging it back into the open room across the hall. Scrubbing at his tired eyes, he moaned to himself, “I look ridiculous.”

 

Long, thin fingers trailed up his hunched shoulder blades, pressing against knotted muscle and coaxing the tense body to relax, “Maa, maybe if you put the collar down...” Hands matched the words to action, smoothing down the lapels where they had been flipped up. “You look like a yakuza like that.”

 

Iruka peeked through his fingers to glare at Kakashi’s reflection, “be careful I don’t put you on my hit list, Kakashi.”

 

“Ooh.” The other man faked hiding behind his boyfriend, though his hands wandered downwards brazenly. “Though maybe I wouldn’t mind being on _your_ hit list, hm?”

 

They held eye contact in the mirror for all of two seconds before bursting into overwhelming laughter, Iruka’s previously tense shoulders shaking with mirth while Kakashi hugged him in delight.

 

Wiping his eyes, Iruka straightened up, “that has to be one of the worst ones yet, Kakashi.” He chuckled again as he fiddled with his collar, “hit list... I knew those books were rotting your brain.”

 

“They’re romantic, Iruka,” Kakashi insisted, batting away the darker man’s hands. He quickly undid the top two buttons on his cream dress shirt from behind. “And I know you’re a sucker for corny pick up lines. That’s how I hooked ya.”

 

Iruka sighed dramatically, “You’re right. That’s why I keep you around, after all.” He turned around and leaned against the counter behind him, pressed chest-to-chest with his lover.

 

Who looked really damn nice, actually.

 

“Who are you and what’ve you done with my boyfriend?” Iruka teased. Kakashi was normally extremely lax in his dress, preferring to wear jeans and t-shirts and anything pulled straight from the dryer. To see him in a navy dress shirt and slacks, pressed and fitted was nothing less than a feast for the eyes.

 

Kakashi looked down at himself, “hm, maybe I should wear my Icha Icha shirt--”

 

“Ha! No you don’t!” Iruka interrupted him, gripping his lapels and pulling his face in close. “We are going to a disturbingly fancy restaurant for our anniversary—for reasons I still can’t understand given our tastes—and I will not be seen with you wearing that orange rag, got it?”

 

Kakashi muttered something that sounded vaguely like “favorite shirt” and “never have any fun”. Iruka smiled at him and pecked him quickly on the nose.

 

“I’ll tell you what,” Iruka started, catching Kakashi’s attention again. “We’ll go to this fancy restaurant, order some ridiculously overpriced food, and drink even more ridiculously priced wine.” His smile widened, the left side pulling up slightly more, in a way Kakashi couldn’t resist. “Then, we’ll come back here, change out of these clothes and into our pajamas, and we can watch what I got you last night.”

 

Kakashi’s eye widened at that last bit. Last night—their actual anniversary—they had exchanged gifts when Iruka had come home from school. Now a new collector’s edition box-set of all of the _Icha Icha_ movies stood proudly on Kakashi’s dresser, right next to Mr. Ukki.

 

The older man quickly dove in and smothered his lover’s neck with kisses, “ah, ‘Ruka! You do love me!”

 

“Ah! Yes I do, dammit, now get off of me,” Iruka’s indignant tone was belayed by bursting laughs from Kakashi’s tickling. It was true though, Iruka thought as his lover handed him his blazer, a warm smile on his face. He was very much in love.

 

=x=x=x=

  

The restaurant was beautiful to say the least. Crystal chandeliers and soft lighting gave the space a warm glow. A pianist was situated on a platform near the center of the room and wait staff flitted gracefully in black-and-white blurs.

 

All in all, Iruka was a bit overwhelmed.

 

It wasn’t that he hadn’t been to fine dining before, but that had been many years ago for one of his father’s business dinners. All he remembered of that evening was the kind waitress who brought his bored child self some crayons and paper.

 

He smiled a bit at the memory as the host ushered them to follow. Kakashi glanced over at him and flashed him a quick grin, slipping his hand to the small of his back to lead the way.

 

“Here are your menus and the wine list, sirs,” the host said in a light, professional tone. “Our staff will be with you in just a moment.”

 

Iruka offered a quick thanks and stared at the lavish, thick-stocked paper of the menu. He flipped it over then back again, his eyes flitting over the page.

 

“Kakashi...”

 

“Hm?” The silver-haired man glanced up from his own menu.

 

“None of this is in English!” Iruka whispered frantically.

 

Kakashi looked down at his menu and back up, “I know. I can’t understand a single word.”

 

“Kakashi!” Iruka barely restrained himself from shouting, though he couldn’t help but smile at the goofy grin his lover had. “Of course you’d pick a restaurant _so_ fancy that we can’t even read the menu.”

 

“I thought it’d be fun to try something new,” Kakashi defended before swapping the menu with the easy-to-read wine list.

 

“You utter dork, you had no idea the whole thing would be in Portuguese did you?”

 

“Nope, absolutely none.”

 

Iruka smiled widely and laughed, dropping his menu in favor of just looking at his boyfriend. They’d been together for three years yesterday; three long, amazing, roller-coaster years. Three years and he still couldn’t help wondering how he got so lucky.

 

Kakashi glanced up from the wine menu to see Iruka staring at him with a happy smile. His pale face went rosy as he smiled back and Iruka fell a little more in love.

 

Their little moment was politely interrupted by the arrival of their waiter, who gave them both a knowing smile and readied his pen for their orders.

 

After many questions and apologies to the waiter, the two finally managed to order their entrées and some wine. Iruka was actually a bit surprised that they had his favorite kind given how cheap it was compared to the rest of the options.

 

The food soon came out steaming and smelling amazing and they both dug in greedily. He and Kakashi chatted about everything and nothing, enjoying their familiar banter and innuendo even as they sat at pressed, white tablecloths and silver table-wear. They sipped on wine and ate whatever it was they had managed to order with seemingly endless good cheer.

 

The waiter came back briefly to ask about desserts, which was turned down in favor of finishing their still mounding plates of food.

 

“By the way, how was that board meeting on Friday?” Iruka asked, taking a last spoonful of his lamb stew.

 

“Boring as usual,” Kakashi sighed, rearranging his food so that it sat in a small pile on his plate.

 

Iruka frowned a bit at the change of mood as he swallowed, “you okay, Kakashi?” He leaned over the table a bit and motioned to the food, “was it gross?”

 

“Huh? No, it’s great actually,” he smiled, lifting a forkful of rice into his mouth.

 

Brown eyes stared back, unimpressed, “uh-huh, sure dear. I can tell when something’s bothering you, even if it’s not the food.”

 

Kakashi gave a genuine smile at that, “you’ve always been very good at calling me out, huh?”

 

“The best,” Iruka agreed solemnly, allowing for the change of topic. It was most likely his lover’s eye giving him a headache again. Reaching across the table, he took his Kakashi’s hand and gave him a lop-sided grin. “What do you say we get out of here and get on with the rest of our evening plans, hm?”

 

Kakashi could never resist when Iruka got that mischievous twinkle in his eye. He chuckled, giving the hand a squeeze, “alright, let me just hit the men’s room first.”

 

Iruka smiled, pleased that Kakashi’s mood had lifted, while his lover stood carefully to avoid snagging the tablecloth.

 

“Ah, my shoe.” Kakashi stopped close to the table and bent down to retie the laces that had somehow come undone. Iruka watched with a touch of amusement before a hand suddenly appeared directly in front of his face, “here, hold this for me.”

 

Iruka instinctually held his hands out to catch the small object. It took him a whole five seconds to process what it was.

 

Small, soft, and looking far too innocent was a velveteen box, still warm from where it had been in Kakashi’s pocket.

 

It took one shuddering gasp for Iruka to realize he’d stopped breathing. He quickly looked down to where Kakashi was still kneeling on the floor, a soft--if not guilty--smile on his face.

 

“You--” Iruka couldn’t even finish the thought; his throat wasn’t working and he knew he must be gaping like a fish out of water.

 

A hand on his knee shook him out of his little stupor and Kakashi whispered to him with a shaking voice, “aren’t you going to open it?”

 

Iruka huffed out one large burst of air and slid onto the floor next to his wide-eyed lover. “You,” he began, holding the small box in between them. “You are such an _ass_ , Kakashi! You drag me to this fancy restaurant, you order us fancy dinner and wine and then you just carelessly drop this in my lap like it’s the television remote!”

 

Kakashi looked from the box to Iruka’s face and simply shrugged, “yeah.”

 

Then Iruka was laughing. He was laughing so hard that tears streamed down the side of his face. He was laughing with such joy that other patrons turned to see what the sudden noise was. He laughed and laughed until Kakashi silenced him with a kiss, then with more kisses until they were both sitting like fools on the floor of a four star restaurant, crying and kissing and not even caring.

 

Kakashi deftly opened the small box and pulled out one of the two rings, looking at Iruka expectantly. Iruka gave one last watery laugh and held out a dark hand, marveling at the feel of cool metal against his skin. Kakashi gave the hand one solid kiss before passing the box over to Iruka to accept his own ring.

 

Around them, the other restaurateurs clapped and cheered as they stood up, dusting off their fine clothes and grabbing their jackets. Kakashi smiled rakishly at his now fiancé and grabbed his hand once more, “come on, you promised me an _Icha Icha_ night, and I intend to hold you to that _completely_.” The look Kakashi gave him was absolutely predatory.

 

Iruka smacked him on the arm and gave him a knowing smile, “how did I ever fall for your cheesy one-liners?”

 

Kakashi just smiled right back, “the same way you fell for me.”

 

And of course he was right.

 

=x END x=

**Author's Note:**

> i had this cute idea stuck in my head of someone taking their lover to a restaurant, acting like they were tying their shoe and just popping a casual proposal. sooo of course i had to make it kakairu in the process~  
> my warm-up to get back into writing, i hope you enjoy~


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